For the most part I encounter really wonderful, pleasant people in my life and I feel very lucky to be around them. Those who I don't think I'll get along with I just don't bother interacting with and things seem to work out just fine. Every once in a while though, I'm either put in a situation when I have to deal with someone who is rude or catty or someone I don't even know acts rudely towards me or another person for no good reason. I always try to be really nice and polite so these situations really upset and irk me, leaving me flustered and thinking about it for the next few hours. and i HATE that, because it makes me feel so crappy! and it's not even something that I personally have done, it's this other person who is projecting some sort of nastiness or negativity into the world.
The other day when I went to lunch with my grandma, aunt, and uncle, we talked a little bit about the Enneagram. The enneagram is really, really, interesting and I encourage you to look into it more, but for the sake of being short and sweet I'm just going to tell you that it's basically a diagram of 9 different personality types, each of which has specific traits, goals, and ways to stray from a healthy lifestyle. I am a type 9 personality, which is described as people who are "accepting, trusting, and stable. They are usually creative, optimistic, and supportive, but can also be too willing to go along with others to keep the peace. They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent, simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting. They typically have problems with inertia and stubbornness. At their Best: indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts." My aunt is also a 9, and she told me about how 9s often have the problem of taking in too much of everyone elses energy and losing sight of their own. I think that might be why these negative people bother me so much and why even hours after, I'm still thinking about the things they said or did.
I just don't understand why some people can be so rude or cruel, not even necessarily to me but to anyone. I've never even understood people who don't say "thank you" when you hold a door open for them or don't smile back when you, a stranger, smile at them out of random kindness. Obviously these instances aren't the ones that leave me mulling over rudeness like I am now, but they still bewilder me. My parent's raised me to be kind, compassionate, and polite, and to return smiles and hellos and pleases and thank-yous. I suppose I'm lucky because so many people out there take simple kindness for granted, but I can't imagine raising my own children any other way.
When I sit there (like I am now) thinking about the way the person was rude or abrasive, I just keep asking myself questions like, "why would they act that way?", "what did I do to make them want to do that?", "why can't they approach the situation in a more mature way?", "what have I done wrong to make them not like me/be rude to me?" and that is so not necessary and just sends me in a big circle of questioning and feeling guilty and sad and I didn't even do anything in the first place. It's so stupid. I should be able to just brush it off and get on with me day. So, that's what I'm going to try an work on. Letting those rude comments, notes, and remarks roll off my back and realize that it's not me, it's them. I just feel lucky that I have my wonderful family, boyfriend, and friends who are always supportive and kind.
On that note, I can't wait to go home to my wonderful family in one week from yesterday :) Sorry about the long, ranty, and kind of grumpy post... just had to get it out of my system! I will be back tomorrow with lots of fun stuff including my review of Looking for Alaska and Stewie and my second date. Have a lovely friday blogger friends. Also, if you feel like it, post in the comments what you do when someone is rude or catty to you. Do you get flustered about it like I do? or are you better at brushing those things off haha.
Lots of love